NEVER give up,

This is for EVERY person that has had their heart broken. Not just girls, not just boys, not the he/shes, straights, or gays, EVERYONE. When you think your the only one who has had your heart broken, think again. Every single person on this planet is different but we all have at least one thing in common, all of our hearts can be broken. We all fall in and out of love but when we love, we LOVE, and when we let go or get let go, we HURT. In life we are all hurt and all loved.

Sometimes we wonder why things happen in relationships... We wonder why we got stood up one Saturday night, why we cried for three months straight after a break up, why they choose to be with someone else when you knew that you were the one that loved them more than anything, why the one you loved promised you the world and ended up destroying your entire universe, why they ever said that they loved you when they cant love you when its over, why they ever said you meant the world to them when they so easily threw "the world" away, why you trusted them more than anybody in the world when they end up breaking your trust completely, why they said there wasn't any other person that they would rather marry when they end up buying a ring for someone else, why its your heart that is hurting when they don't shed a single tear, we constantly wonder; why, why, why....

One of my idols, Marilyn Monroe said that sometimes GOOD things fall apart so BETTER things fall together. Sometimes it's really really hard to believe that there will be anything better than what you had with someone you loved more than anything, but i promise it's possible and it WILL happen if you believe. There IS someone out there for ALL of us. We go through relationship after relationship so that we may learn and grow and better recognize the one for us when they cross our path. I know very very well what it's like to get my heart broken, it's happened to me more than once, but i also know what it feels like to have the courage to land on my feet again and fill my heart with hope of a better tomorrow. Believe me when i say that i have HURT and i have felt BROKEN and WEAK, but in all honesty nothing is broken, my heart is still beating, and it's strong...It's our CHOICE to think we are broken and think that there is something wrong with us for someone to not love us. CHOOSE happiness CHOOSE freedom from the hurtful chains that bind your heart, CHOOSE courage to get up and move forward, CHOOSE to LOVE even when your risk getting hurt, CHOOSE to LIVE because life is to beautiful to give up on just because someone made you cry. This is your life, CHOOSE what you will feel in it. Never give up....There is unconditional quantities of love in this world, go and grab some.

Life....

Love every minute of it because you'll never get that minute back. I've taken so many things in my life for granted and im sorry for that. For every tear i cry i need to remember a blessing that i have. For every time i lash out at my family or friends i need to remember their the ones that will always be by my side and i should be thanking them every chance i get for all they have done for me. I live in a lovely neighborhood in a lovely home that was built on the foundation of a loving family. To often i take my food, my clothes, my bed, my home, my family, my books... my life, for granted. Im so blessed to have all that i do and everyday i dont think twice about what i have. But when i think about the possible conditions i could be living in i remember how blessed i really am. I use to complain about not being able to buy a shirt or complain about something that i already had in my closet. I'd say; "it's not good enough!", well now i know that is far from the truth. What i have is more than enough, i am blessed to have one shirt let alone the others. What you have is a gift, and when you think you have nothing, think again. Look at your life and see if it's what you want it to be, look at your friends and see if their lives are what you want in yours, look at yourselves and see if your who you want to be...Cherish your life, you only get one chance at this one, make the best of it!!!<3

Fairytales...

I grew up with a love for love. I've always fantasized about Prince Charming and being swept off my feet. I want to ride off into the sunset to a magical place with a beautiful castle awaiting me and my true love. I want to go on an epic adventure that will lead me to my happily ever after. I find myself spacing off very often to be in Prince Charmings arms. The man i dream about is everything i have ever wanted, but i've never seen his face...because i dont know who he is yet. I know i will love him and know he'll treat me like a princess but he hasn't got the memo that im a damsal in distress just yet. Only time will tell who i will have my fairytale story with. I am utterly in love with someone but maybe sometimes Prince Charming isn't who you thought he would be. Maybe he is right infront of me but maybe he is still in a far away land. Maybe someone will kiss me and wake me up from my dreams, but maybe someone will kiss me and tell me i was meant to have the fairytale i always dreamed about....Happily ever after.

Paint the heavens...

When my grandfather died i placed a white paintbrush in his coffin with him. I leaned over and whispered in his ear; "Go paint the heavens." Painting is my passion on this earth. It's hard to believe i dont have paint pumping through my veins rather than blood. My love for art is almost as much as my love for people. When i have a brush in my hand magic takes over and guides my hand. When i paint and im in a good mood i become one with my brush and canvas. When i paint and im in a bad mood the painting isn't as good because i was to distracted by negativity. One day i'd love to own my own art gallary. I admire anybody who has the courage to persue what they love and i hope someday someone will admire me because i had the courage myself. Go after your dreams, dont give up on what you want or what you love, live your life. For as long as i live i will paint, and even after i take my last breath i will paint the heavens. Maybe the sunsets people will see when i die will be my own work!

In a far away land....

called Layton Utah is where you'll find this girl. But the place i often find myself longing to be is a place called Lyman, also in Utah. I've never seen a more beautiful place in my life, my family calls it Gods County. It's proof in my eyes that there is a God, because nobody else could make something so breath taking. Whenever i can visit Gods County i jump at the chance. I inherited the love of the outdoors and my love for Lyman from my dear Grandfather that passed away just last week. I know my grandpa is once again enjoying the beauty of God's County where he grew up because he no longer has a body that will hold him back. My grandpa was and is my hero. No granddaughter ever had a better grandpa. I remember looking out over the rolling green hills of Lyman last year and in the distance the clouds had gathered, contemplating pouring rain. Out of the clouds sunshine broke through, in the midst of the storm. I'd like to think that the heavens were portraying a message to me that even when sadness and grief hangs over our heads we need to remember that there is always a sun behind the storm. The heavens cried when my grandfather died, as did the earthly angels who gathered to mourn. I pressed my cheek up against a soaking wet coffin, my arms clung to the beautiful wood, not wanting to let go...I pressed my lips against the chest that held my hero, i whispered "i love you". That day was one of the hardest days of my life, but a picture is painted in my mind of a storm and sunshine, so even though times are hard, there is a sun coming that will bring light back into my life.